Byline: By Thorne Wexley, Senior Shrieking Correspondent at SpinFork
PORTSMOUTH, UK —
Iron Maiden fans who showed up to the band’s long-awaited “Legacy of the Lint Trap” world tour were left dazed, sweaty, and emotionally disassembled after the band delivered what many described as “a spiritually confusing and appliance-heavy performance.”
Instead of classic hits like Run to the Hills or The Number of the Beast, the band opened with an electrifying 14-minute reading of the Whirlpool Duet Steam Dryer installation guide.
“I thought it was a spoken-word intro at first,” said longtime fan Terry ‘Skullet’ Mackenzie. “But then Bruce Dickinson started wailing about ‘removing shipping bolts’ and I just— I don’t know anymore, man.”
The official setlist for the night read as follows:
Dickinson addressed the crowd midway through the second set, pausing during the intro to Steam Trap Removal & Lint Reconciliation to offer context.
“This is the true metal of the modern age,” he shouted. “You wanted authenticity? THIS is what you live with! THIS is what breaks down! THIS… is your legacy!”
Some fans chanted “Up the Irons!” while others screamed “Play Hallowed Be Thy Name you cowards!” A man in Row 14 reportedly tried to crowd-surf out of disappointment.
The merch booth offered:
One fan on Twitter/X wrote:
“I came for The Trooper, I got told to check for water inlet clogs. Still a 10/10 show.”
Another wrote:
“Honestly? The Warranty Void solo ripped harder than anything since Seventh Son.”
Meanwhile, the band’s next show in Düsseldorf has been rebranded as an “Interactive Home Safety Symposium,” with unconfirmed reports that the encore will feature a duet between Bruce Dickinson and an oscillating tower fan.
