Discovered in: 2004 Honda Civic, passenger door pocket, under three expired insurance cards and a receipt for jalapeño poppers.
Tracklist (as written):
“No One Knows” – Queens of the Stone Age The opener. Immediate tension. This person has regrets and rhythm.
“Semi-Charmed Life” – Third Eye Blind Not ironic. This was played loudly with the windows down. Possibly while speeding.
“Such Great Heights” – The Postal Service Heartbreak in lowercase. Track 3 screams “I miss someone who moved to a different area code.”
“Snuff” – Slipknot Something happened between tracks 3 and 4.
“Fell In Love With a Girl” – The White Stripes Back to chaos. This CD has emotional whiplash. There was definitely a red hoodie involved.
“Kiss Me” – Sixpence None the Richer Either a sarcastic interlude… or a moment of sincere longing behind tinted windows.
“Maps” – Yeah Yeah Yeahs This track is underlined. Twice. In different pens. We’re afraid to ask.
“Mr. Brightside” – The Killers This CD is haunted by eyeliner and passive-aggressive away messages.
“Numb/Encore” – Jay-Z & Linkin Park 2000s spiritual energy. This car probably had a subwoofer held in place by hope, duct tape, and gym clothes.
[Blank Track] Skips. No title. Just static. Possibly a cursed voicemail.
“Asleep” – The Smiths This is either the final track… or the beginning of a new spiral. Either way, the driver never took the CD out.
Final Analysis:
This CD smells like cherry lip balm, controlled rage, and romantic decisions made in strip mall parking lots. It’s not a playlist. It’s a confessional on disc.
We’ll be archiving it in the Spinfork™ Library of Personal Collapse. Catalogued under: “Emotional Echo Chamber, Vol. 7.”
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