In a move described by critics as “the ouroboros of self-branding,” Machine Gun Kelly has officially announced production of a new biopic titled “I Am Me: The Machine Gun Kelly Story by Machine Gun Kelly, Featuring Machine Gun Kelly, About Machine Gun Kelly.”
The film will chronicle MGK’s tumultuous rise from Cleveland rap enigma to pop-punk cosplayer to whatever genre he’s in by the third act. The script is reportedly based on a Twitter thread he wrote at 2:47 a.m. after getting emotional in a Wendy’s drive-thru.
“I just want people to see the real me,” MGK said, removing his sunglasses to reveal a different, slightly smaller pair of sunglasses underneath. “And then I want that real me to win an Oscar.”
The Plot (Probably):
The story begins with a misunderstood boy in a Hot Topic, evolves into a misunderstood man in another Hot Topic, and climaxes with a 14-minute guitar solo played shirtless atop a pile of genre labels he set on fire himself.
Travis Barker will portray “The Spirit of Percussion.” Megan Fox will appear as “The Concept of Love.” Pete Davidson will voice “Inner Doubt (but chill).”
When asked why he chose to direct the film himself, MGK responded,
“Because no one understands me like I do, except for the me I’ll become during post-production.”
Filming is expected to take place entirely in bathroom mirrors and desert highways, with the climactic scene rumored to feature MGK fighting his own reflection for the right to headline Coachella.
Early promotional materials feature a cracked compact mirror, a pink switchblade, and the tagline:
“Sometimes the only person who can play you… is the one you’re trying to outrun.”
The movie will be released in select theaters, on streaming, and projected onto the ceiling of MGK’s soul.
